12 LiES TO STOP TELLiNG YOURSELF

I came across this article on MarcAndAngel.com, and thought it would be great to share. I recognize some of these statements from some conversations with my girlfriends-- all of whom are brilliant, capable women, but with subconscious thought patterns that are simply getting in their way. Sometimes we are our own greatest obstacles, and overcoming these mental habits can be the first step toward moving forward.  Here are the 12 most common negative thoughts, and how to get over them:

1. I don’t have enough yet to be happy. – To be upset about what you don’t have is always a waste of what you do have.  The happiest of people aren’t the luckiest, and they usually don’t have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.  The reason so many people give up is because they tend to look at what’s missing, and how far they still have to go, instead of what’s present, and how far they have come.  


2. My dreams are impossible. – Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.  The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.  


3. I am stuck with people who hurt me. – Life is too short.  Look out for yourself.  If someone continuously mistreats you, have enough respect for yourself to leave them.  It may hurt for a while, but it’ll be OK.  You’ll be OK.  Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength.  We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.

4. My failed relationships were a waste of time. – There are certain people who aren’t meant to fit into your life.  But no relationship is ever a waste of time.  If it doesn’t bring you what you want, it teaches you what you DON’T want.  We rarely lose friends, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.  Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will surely create one for you.  And remember, when you’re up, your ‘friends’ know who you are, when you’re down, you know who your ‘real friends’ are.  It just takes a little time to figure it all out.


5. Things will never get better. – There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s part of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.  When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings.  


6. Failure is bad. – No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.   Oftentimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

7. Great things will come to me effortlessly. – Nobody’s going to come and save you, you’ve got to save yourself.  Nobody’s going to give you anything, you’ve got to go out and earn it.  Nobody knows what you want except for you.  And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don’t achieve it.  Be the architect and keeper of your own happiness.  The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek.


8. My past is 100% indicative of my future. – At some point, we’ve all made mistakes, been walked on, used and forgotten.  We’ve let people take advantage of us, and we’ve accepted way less than we deserve.  But we shouldn’t regret one moment of it, because in those moments we’ve learned a lot from our bad choices.  And even though there are some things we can never recover and people who will never be sorry, we now know better for next time.


9. I never need to meet anyone new. – Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

10. I can’t live without those who are gone. – If someone comes into your life and has a positive impact on you, but for some reason they can’t stay, don’t mourn for too long.  Be thankful that your paths crossed and that they somehow made you happy, even if it was just for a short while.  Life is change.  People really do come and go.  Some come back, some don’t, and that’s okay.  And just because one person leaves, doesn’t mean you should forget about everyone else who’s still standing by your side.  Continue to appreciate what you have, and smile about the memories.


11. I’m not ready because I’m not good enough yet. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.  Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress.  Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today; it means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share.  You are ready.  You just need to start.  Read The Power of Now.


12. I have way too much to lose. – In the end you will not regret the things you have done nearly as much as the things you have left undone.  It’s better to have a lifetime full of mistakes that you learned from, rather than a heart full of regrets and empty dreams.

Photos: Isabel Lucas by Mark Seligner for Vogue Italia


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